(Snoring. Phone rings.)
Saruman: "Hello?"
Wyrmtongue: "Hehe, master..."
Saruman: "Yep."
Wyrmtongue: "I guess what I'm trying to say is: we should attack the people of Rohan while they're riding to Helm's Deep."
Saruman: "Mm-hm."
(Cheering from orcs)
Wyrmtongue: "Their women and children will be weak and defenseless."
Saruman: "Okay."
(Cheering from orcs)
Wyrmtongue: "We should send out our Wargs to kill them."
Saruman: "Right. Whatever you say."
(Cheering from orcs)
Wyrmtongue: "And then, we should rape their horses and ride off on their women..." (cheering from orcs) "...and prune the hedges of their many small villages. Hehe, master..."
Saruman: "Okay bye."
(Cheering from orcs)

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar | voice

michael ambro: guitar | voice

paul ambro: guitar | voice

dennis harvey: keyboards | voice

composition/production:

michael ambro: composition

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition | lyrics

dennis harvey: composition | lyrics | mastering | mixing | production | recording

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar

michael ambro: guitar

paul ambro: guitar

dennis harvey: keyboards | noises

composition/production:

michael ambro: composition

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

Excitement! Adventure! Robots! Aliens!
What is to be the fate of our intrepid detective?
How will he escape from a horrific death within the slowly-filling vat of acid and/or blood?
What is the meaning behind the Mysterious Multi-Mouth's diabolical presence on our insignificant planet?
How will our hero ever return to his own dimension through the chalupa vortex from which he came?
Who is the enigmatic woman responsible for his involvement in this extradimensional mystery?
Where will his travels take him in his quest to find the secret lair of his intergalactic nemesis?
What secrets do the traitors to an enslaved robotic army hold to aid him in his quest?
And who will survive the final epic confrontation in which the universe itself is at stake?
Discover all this and more in the next exciting, action-packed episode of pUdjEm: AWESOME

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar

michael ambro: guitar

paul ambro: guitar

dennis harvey: keyboards | voice

composition/production:

michael ambro: composition

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition

dennis harvey: composition | lyrics | mastering | mixing | production | recording

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar

michael ambro: guitar

paul ambro: guitar

dennis harvey: keyboards | noises | voice

composition/production:

michael ambro: composition

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

notes:

... "You think you can defeat my master?" Multi-Mouth's booming voice emanated ominously from all of his volcanic, spurting mouths. "You thought so once before. Don't you remember?"

"IMO BRUSH ALL YO TEEF!" I shrieked in an uncontrollable frenzy as the memories flooded my mind. A giant sword, bursting with blue light, appeared in my hand as I bolted through the air like a winged mystical avatar of justice. With an epic battle cry, I brought the sword down onto Multi-Mouth's spewing, gelatinous form, tearing clean through his screaming, quivering body.

And just like that, it was over. I was standing in a pool of slowly seeping jelly, the sword's light fading in my hand, the dim light of the cavern shimmering in the sudden stillness. I stood with my eyes closed, panting, the words my nemesis had spoken moments ago finally sinking in. His master? I shook my head in disbelief. Multi-Mouth had been a pawn all along. It was all a set-up - get me to enter the chalupa vortex, awaken the sleeping demon within, and drag him out into this world so he could wreak havoc and find hosts for his interdimensional conquest. Multi-Mouth was the bait, I'd stepped right into it, thinking I was solving some poor dame's case, only to bring about the destruction of the universe. In the meantime, the vortex stood open across dimensions and worlds I couldn't even fathom, all prone to this demon's diabolical plans. ...

A cashier at a taco shop said: "Can I get you anything else?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
He said, "No."
I said, "No you can't."

A guy at a bar said: "Can I buy you a drink?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
He said, "No."
I said, "No you can't."

A child in a well said: "Can I please get out of this well?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
He said, "No."
I said, "No you can't."

A man at a multinational space exploration conglomerate said: "Can I take you for a ride in my interdimensional space capsule?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
He said, "No."
I said, "No you can't."

A woman at the park said: "Can I give you $5000 to get my child out of this well?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
She said, "No."
I said, "No you can't."

A man on the bus said:
"Can I have the time?"
I replied: "Are you Simon Russell Beale?"
He said, "Yes."
OMG

performance:

dennis harvey: all instruments | voice

composition/production:

dennis harvey: composition | lyrics | mastering | mixing | production | recording

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar

michael ambro: guitar

paul ambro: guitar

dennis harvey: keyboards

composition/production:

michael ambro: composition

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

performance:

jason harvey: bass guitar | voice

paul ambro: guitar | voice

michael ambro: voice

dennis harvey: keyboards | voice

composition/production:

paul ambro: composition

jason harvey: composition

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

composition/production:

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

all sounds by various artists

extra composition/production:

dennis harvey: mastering | mixing | production | recording

performance:

dennis harvey: all instruments | voice

composition/production:

dennis harvey: composition | mastering | mixing | production | recording

extra performance:

barbara harvey: voice